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You want him to give up the cat for you. Your marriage needs more work then rehoming the cat fix. If you demand he get rid of the cat he resent you.
You have a me verses him dynamic instead of this is a we problem and together we have to fix it dynamic. Team work on the cat problem would really do alot to heal your marriage. You can discover together what steps to take to help the can and do everthing in your power to make life better for all of you.